Nobody Home

These are some thoughts that have been on my mind lately.
When you have divorced parents, no matter how old you are, it is hard to get used to. Even when years have gone by. You have to learn to look at your parents as real people who have been affected by life. You have to move on with your own life. You have to accept that you don't have the fairy-tale of going home to the place that was home when you were a child. I feel like home is gone. The house is sold, everything is gone or in boxes, and my parents have new lives. When remembering your childhood is uncomfortable for your parents, it can cause uncertainty.

I don't know how to fix this. One thing both my parents always said is that you can't change another person. The only thing I know to do is to work my hardest and trust God to keep my own marriage and family together so that in 20 years my kids are not feeling the way that I am right now.

Here are some of the words to a song by Amy Grant called "Nobody Home." I have heard it a million times, but last night I realized it pinpointed exactly how I felt about the first 20 years or so of my own life.

"Main street U.S.A
boarded up and dry
Knowin' what once was here just makes me wanna cry
Used to be the favorite place
Now what remains are memories even time cannot erase

Packed up, moved away,
runnin' from the past
Leaving behind the dusty dreams and broken glass
Used to be a busy town
Now, everybody passes through, but they don't stick around

Where we used to belong
There ain't nobody home
You can knock all you want
But, ain't nobody home

Knock all you want,
there ain't nobody home."