A Conspiracy or Shake Machine Maintenance?

First off, I have three things to say.
1. What you are about to read is some of the randomness that circulates in my brain daily, hourly, etc...
2. I frequently work 7pm-1am, and therefore am left to my own devices at 1am, in my van, husband and kids at home asleep, no phone ringing, no one awake to talk to........
3. I am a chocoholic


Let me tell you something fundamental about milkshakes. Specifically, chocolate milkshakes, because I don't believe I have ever tried or want to try any other kind of milkshake. Milkshakes are not to be consumed casually. They aren't a leisurely beverage that you sip because you need something refreshing. When I drink a milkshake, specifically, a chocolate milkshake, it is out of pure necessity. Why else would I consume, like, 1,000 calories in one sitting? Because I need it!
Last week, I needed chocolate. Badly. I decided in my evil little mind before even leaving work that I was going to stop at (where else at 1 am?) the 24 hour McDonald's that is dangerously close to my residence. Being the calorie counter that I am, I ordered a medium chocolate shake.

"Ma'am, I hate to be a downer, but our shake machine isn't working."

Do you know how many times in my life I have been told that by someone on the other side of a drive-thru? (this milkshake obsession has been going on a long time...)

Fine, so your shake machine "isn't working." Where does that leave me? I have only been thinking about this chocolate milkshake for, like, 2 hours, SIR and now you're telling me I can't get one tonight?

I didn't say that. I just drove away. And frantically drove towards the nearest row of fast-food restaurants, only to realize that none of them would be open.

And then, a glimmer of hope! There is a Whataburger that is even dangerously closer to my residence than the 24 hour McDonald's!

After waiting in line behind all of the drunks who were waiting on their breakfast taquitos (it's no secret that drunk people eat Whataburger breakfast in the middle of the night) and paying almost FOUR DOLLARS, I received my delicious, long anticipated, chocolate milkshake.

I really, really needed it. Then I came home and watched all 14 hours of The Bachelor (a whole other topic) that had recorded on my DVR.......and life was good.

Thank you, Whataburger, for maintaining your shake machine so that those of us with a pathological addiction to milkshakes, specifically chocolate milkshakes, can have one whenever we want. Even at 1:30 am.