I am NOT Mother of the Year!

Last week and the week before were very challenging for me as a mom. And as a person. I can't pinpoint the exact day that it all started, but everything seemed to spiraling out of control. To start with, I was VERY tired. For those of you who don't know, I work nights. Usually 7pm to 7am. During the week I leave early at 1am, come home, feed Deacon, usually get to sleep by 2:30 or 3, get up and feed Deacon again between 5 and 7, go back to sleep, and get up with Lola usually around 8 or 8:30am. I used to get a nap those days in the afternoons, but lately it is virtually impossible to get the kids to sleep at the same time. Sometimes I turn around and go back to work that night. It finally caught up to me.
At the same time, Lola started behaving very "unbecomingly." This is not typical, she is usually a really well-behaved kid. All of the sudden, every bottle of shampoo, lotion, conditioner, NAIL POLISH, etc, became her toys. She also enjoys shredding paper towels and toilet paper, and drawing on paper plates. She made a couple of attempts to physically harm her little brother. Then there was the "Play-Doh incident" that you will all remember.
None of my efforts to discourage this kind of behavior were working. Not even positive reinforcement for when she DID do something great or helpful. The corner, time out, loss of priveledges, taking away toys, and spaking (as a last resort)........nothing worked.
The thing about three-year-olds is that they can't always express what they need. They can say what they WANT, like juice, a snack, to watch a movie, a new toy, to go to the park, etc.......but they can't always verbalize their needs.
"Mommy, I need to to pay more one-on-one attention to ME." "I need more outlets to express myself and have fun."
This is what Lola's terrible behavior was trying to say.
Lola's mother was so tired and frazzled and worried about having a dirty house that I didn't recognize this.
So, this week, instead of basking in my unrelieveable state of exhaustion, we have had playdates. Twice. Our new "hangout" is the mall playground with our friends. Then we walk the mall, window shop a little, and eat some Chick-Fil-A. Also, I have let Lola do more "arts and crafts" as she calls them, which involves tearing up paper and gluing it to paper plates, or drawing on paper and making "cards." Most importantly, I have made every effort to spend individual time with her and positively reinforcing everything she does. It has really made a difference. She has only put one thing in her hair: mousse. And guess what? My house doesn't look any worse than it did before. The biggest and best change is that she seems more like a happy and fulfilled child.
Please pray for all of us that things will continue to go well.